Confidence and authenticity go hand in hand when it comes to living a fulfilling life.
When we are confident in who we are and embrace our authentic selves, we are able to tap into our inner strength, express our true selves, and live in alignment with our individuality.
However, many of us struggle with self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-awareness, which can prevent us from unlocking our full potential.
In this article, we will explore the importance of self-discovery and self-acceptance, and provide strategies for building self-confidence and living authentically.
Whether you’re looking to improve your self-esteem, discover your true self, or simply learn to love and care for yourself better, this article is for you.
Join us on the journey of personal growth and self-empowerment as we dive into the power of embracing your individuality, expressing your true self, and cultivating self-love.
Here is 5 steps to implement if you want to develop your confidence like never before:
1. Know and embrace all your flavors
Spend time exploring your depth.
Know who you are at your core without the conditioning and programming.
The way we are in the world is not always fully ours. Most of our beliefs, behaviors and values are picked up from our childhood, peers, movies, etc.
So in order to be yourself unapologetically ‘YOURSELF’, you need to KNOW who this Self is and in order to do that you need to UNLEARN first everything that isn’t really YOU.
See it as peeling layers of fakeness and things that are keeping you away from your true essence.
The second part of this first step is to embrace ALL of your flavors. Your sweet, salty, bitter, yummy, spicy Self.
You can do that with a mix of different practices such as playing with archetypes and joining my online course BECOMING HER.
This course is designed to help you embrace your fullness and be comfortable being your full unapologetic self. You’ll walk out of this program grounded in your own being and equipped with your unique system to manifest your desired reality using both metaphysical and practical tools.
I talk here about ALL your flavors because it’s important to integrate the fact that there isn’t just one way of being. We are complex, multidimensional beings. The more we embrace our multifaceted nature the easier it is to love all of ourselves.
To facilitate the process of accepting your whole spectrum self:
- Take OWNERSHIP of all your facets (‘this is me, I own it’ vibe)
- Give yourself permission to ‘not make any sense’
- Let yourself be full of contradictions
- Have space to change your mind, your habits, the way you present yourself to the world
For example: let yourself be the giggling three-year-old that wants to run bare food and build sand castles, the sexy wild Goddess covered in gold and glitters and the mature grounded CEO running a 7-figure empire. Be both the kitten and the lioness soft and tender yet strong and fierce… BE ALL OF IT FREELY.
Expand the idea of who you are with this simple exercise:
Write down all of your flavors, archetypes and facets. Enrich your vocabulary to describe everything you are, want to be, desire to embody. Have a clear picture, explore, play with it.
2. Spend time in your own presence
This step is intimately connected to and will help you to achieve step n1.
We might have the best intentions in the world to know and accept ourselves deeper. But the reality of our busy lives and the societal pressure for productivity make it challenging to actually create the time and devotion for self-exploration.
The problem is, as we mentioned above, we can be so impacted by our environment, that it can be really difficult to know what’s yours and what’s not.
The only way to do so is to spend time in your own presence.
Spending time in your own presence is very different from time alone.
For example, you can be alone at home and be scrolling through TikTok for two hours without really feeling your own presence at all. Because you’re fully absorbed and lost into something.
There is a sense of intentionality with spending time in your own presence. Sort of dating yourself. Think about it, in dating, how do you get to know someone?
Well you spend time with them…
Same goes for yourself and your relationship with YOU.
Make it a priority to spend time in your own presence. Let your own energy bounce back the walls and come back right at you so you actually know what it feels like to be with yourself. What kind of energy, what kind of vibration you feel when you feel yourself.
You’ll get more and more comfortable with who you are. Appreciating your own company. This is the key to confidence. When you become your partner, you no longer need other people’s approval or love. You self-source !
Confidence in a sense of being rooted in yourself, being in love with yourself and being fully yourself, authentically in the world. It’s not about being cocky or a badass. You can be confident even in the worst/ most vulnerable situations of your life.
3. Explore your desires
Your desires are placed in you by God (source/the universe/ a higher force). This is your roadmap and your compass.
An indication of where to go in the world. Follow what you truly desire in your heart.
But be mindful because sometimes what we think we want is not what we actually want. Bear with me with this one:
For example, If I really wanted to go and live in Bali. What I wanted was not Bali. What I wanted was a warm environment, tropical vibe, lots of green, a conscious community, a digital nomad space with a lot of entrepreneurs, a place with an open mindset, a different way of living than in the city, etc, etc.
And guess what ? I had all of this in Mexico. What I wanted wasn’t Bali in itself but all that Bali represented to me.
So make sure that you dive deeper than the desire and ask yourself WHY I do want this or that?
In order to know your desires, you have to LISTEN.
Listen to the soft (or loud) whispers of your heart and soul.
A few ways you can practically do this:
- Journal about what you want: list everything you desire and why
- Meditate: calm your mind and make space for silence for your desires to naturally emerge
- Visualize: use your imagination to see yourself experiencing your desired life. Connect to what feels good in your body. Envision something that will make you so happy, relaxed and embodied.
This step helps you be more confident because when following what you truly want chances are you’re gonna be in alignment.
Following your desires is the easiest, fastest way to be in alignment.
You must have heard the quote ‘follow your heart’ many times. Because it will lead you to your gifts and to the most authentic expression of yourself in the world, which will automatically give you a lot of confidence.
If you have no doubt and think to yourself ‘I’m exactly where I need to be, right here and now’. Full certainty about your path and alignment. You can face hard times, obstacles, and challenges with grace because you know in your heart you’re following your purpose. Best confidence booster ever.
4. Be your own lover somatically
‘Somatically’ means in the body. It’s time to bring some of your best embodiment practices !
You can learn many of them within BECOMING HER (click here to join)
The most important thing here is to use your body to become your own lover.
Because whether Self-love is easy or not accessible to you in this moment, or simply if you want to deepen it, just THINKING ‘I love myself’ won’t do it!
The body is where the memory, the remembrance, the imprint is made.
Using the body also helps you to program your subconscious mind.
For example, if you burned yourself when you were a kid, the feeling, the sensation of “this burns” in your body, made your mind register that fire burns and it hurts, and you won’t probable do the experience of putting your hand in the fire anymore.
So in order to train your subconscious and to feel like a more liberated, confident, embodied person, you want to use the BODY.
We can spend hours talking, listening to podcasts, reading, etc… but until you feel like it’s in yourself, in your body, in your cells, until you have the FELT EXPERIENCE OF IT SOMATICALLY, until it’s embodied at a cellular level, it would never really feel authentic or real.
Being your own lover somatically means treating yourself the way you’d love a lover to treat you.
The way you speak, touch, train, hold yourself… It goes with the depth of intentionality you put in daily actions. Like taking a shower, for example.
You can rub your body in very automatic patterns, or you can slow down, dim the light, light a scented candle, gently caress every part of your body, feel the water slowly dripping on your skin, etc…
If you wanna bring a little more love to yourself, which is a big key in being confident, do it in the body, physically using gestures, touch, movements, sounds, for your confidence to be unshakable.
Really become your dream partner, the sensual loving suitor that will seduce you during the day, even when doing mundane tasks.
Do it by:
- Touching your body during the day
- Light candles to romanticize your environment
- Oil massages
- Nice fabrics on your skin
- Soothing music
- Heart and breast massages
Anything that shows your body: “I am here and I love you”
You’re telling that to your nervous system by DOING IT (vs thinking it)
It brings a deep sense of safety and helps you to root in your own being, which helps you to boost your confidence.
5. Practice discomfort
If you’re trying to build self reliance (knowing you can rely on yourself, self-source your own love, protection,etc) it only can happen outside your comfort zone.
By pushing the edges again and again.
It takes time and practice. And you have to be willing to dive into the discomfort repeatedly.
If you don’t feel your most confident self right now and are thinking to yourself “if only I was more confident, I would do XYZ”
If only I was confident enough to…
- Create a podcast
- Wear those sexy underwears
- Speak on stage
- Change my hair
- Tell my dad how I feel
- Go after this dream
- Ask this guy/girl out
- Create this business
Ask yourself: What would you do?
When you know the answer, go and do that.
Find ways to practice, to put yourself intentionally past the edge of your comfort zone. Do something new, different, edgy, challenging, uncomfortable.
Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice.
In the beginning you may feel uncomfortable, but because of how the body and the mind are built, if you do it enough times, you’ll adapt and it will become your new normal. We are made like this. It’s our very nature as human beings to adjust and expand. It’s called resilience.
When you do something long enough your body and mind get tired of being scared and uncomfortable. So it naturally adapts and what used to be uncomfortable is completely comfortable now.
If you are committed to go after what you want, grow, evolve… you know that it’s a constant game of pushing your edges. Which is the most empowering practice ever. We get more confident as we learn and grow.
Find your own unique ways to practice discomfort. You probably already know because when you think about it, your body contracts a little bit because of the natural inclination we have to not go in the direction of our discomfort.
It’s actually very unnatural. That’s why you see a lot of people not really growing and evolving because they stay in their comfort zone, which honestly is not comfortable.
Let’s talk about this for one sec!
The term “comfort zone” is nothing but comfortable.
You’re stagnant, not moving in life, feeling stuck… How is that comfort ?
It might feel scary to live outside of it, you might feel your heart racing and your palms sweating, your belly contracting and your breath being shorter. OKAY
Okay it is a vulnerable practice and you might feel unequipped and naked in the beginning, it might even feel like you’re dying. But simply because YOU’RE LIVING FULLY. What’s truly deadly is to stay trapped in the illusion of comfort.
Let’s rename it the “not-comfortable-comfort-zone”
If you want to be your most badass empowered confident self…
Step out and jump in
Join BECOMING HER: embrace your fullness and design your next level life